Working with people who have excessive anxiety and fear can feel like walking on eggshells. You constantly feel the need to balance your concern with enough encouragement and empathy. The world of social media creates much more awareness for the intense social and emotional pressures that drive anxiety and fear. I have been approached by a # of people who ask how they can support someone who is drinking excessively because of anxiety, fear, and shame.

I did a little research and I found some good info that I thought might help those looking to help someone in that situation. Whether you’re looking for mental health tips, or simply wondering how to help an anxious person, these small actions can make a big difference.

1- Come from a place of love. One manifestation of anxiety and fear is the feeling of being left out, unloved. The next time you encounter the person you’re trying to help – demonstrate your real excitement and happiness with seeing him/her. Show them in your face and in your behavior that you are happy to see them – they belong. This will ease some of the anxiety if only for the period you interact.

2- Practice active listening – far too often we focus on ourselves. Our needs. In conversation you can see others thinking of their next sentence instead of listening to what you have to say. When that happens, you might as well turn off the light switch to any connection. The response is to back away, disengage. Sometimes you don’t need to give advice, you just need to listen. People just want to be heard. You don’t have to agree with everything, but give the people you care about the chance to have a dialog that is valued by them. Don’t worry about an answer, just focus on listening.

3. When appropriate – disengage from the heavy subjects and just focus on a conversation that is fun. Don’t ask about work, or some sick relative. Try some crazy idea – what was the funniest things that happened today. Recount something silly you did and why it was funny. Engage in self-deprecating humor. Tell a joke – I use dad jokes. Sometimes it’s nice to talk with someone who isn’t trying to solve for the biggest concern of a given day. Just have a fun conversation and let the person you love feel like you’re not always wondering what they did with that elephant that was in the room last week.

4. Spend time outside and engage in activities outside. Play catch with a kid. Go for a walk. Take a boat ride. Play a game in the backyard. Stress liimits the ability of the brain by forcing it to focus on the thing causing the stress. Get off the phone for a bit, and have fun doing something that you love. Studies show that people who do this have a much greater ability to deal with that big issue when time to re-engage on it if they’ve given their mind a chance to develop thoughts without stress. Physical activity and laughter are proven to be two of the best ways to release stress and tension.

5. Don’t dismiss someone’s anxiety/concerns –
We all do it. My issue is so much more important than your issue. Don’t switch the topic to something you’re anxious about – focus on what’s being said to you. Actively listen and acknowledge that the person is dealing with a tough situation. Give them a chance to be heard without worrying about how to react. Many people find it very difficult to ask for help. When they do, it is important to engage and encourage a conversation about a solution that can be shared when appropriate. Listen, hear, and acknowledge the situation before suggesting a way that the issue can be dealt with together.

6. With kids – make their friends feel welcome in your home. Get to know the kids’ friends. Create a safe space for your kids to have friends over to socialize. Kids feel more comfortable in their surroundings, so it can make things easier for them to deal with socialization on their own turf.

Helping people manage stress and anxiety starts with building a connection, listening with compassion, and being consistent. The strategies I’ve described here offer tools to deal with anxiety and stress while building trust within a relationship.

If you’re using alcohol to manage stress and anxiety, I can help. There are healthier ways. Visit TrueNorthSoberSupport.com to learn about the services I offer.

Learn more about Stress from Mel Robbins – Anxiety – Mel Robbins

Learn more about fear in this article – The Root Of Fear

Check out the root of fear article –