Last weekend, I went to the movies expecting nothing more than three hours of entertainment.
The movie was The Odyssey, and I had prepared myself. I packed my dinner in my backpack, walked to the snack counter and picked up my $11 soda (which I considered the price of admission for being allowed to eat my own food), and settled into one of those oversized theater chairs that makes it far too easy to forget that you are supposed to be watching a movie and not taking a nap.
I was not there looking for a lesson in letting go in recovery.
I was not thinking about sobriety, or personal growth.
I was simply looking for a reason to get out of the house and enjoy a good story.
But somewhere during the nearly three-hour journey with Odysseus, something unexpected happened.
I started recognizing something I had learned in recovery.
Not because the movie was about recovery.
It wasn’t.
Not because I was searching for a connection.
I wasn’t.
But because recovery had changed the way I saw the world.
The lesson had always been there.
I just had not learned how to recognize it.
Spoiler alert: If you haven’t seen The Odyssey and don’t want to know how it ends, you may want to stop reading. That said, this story has been around for nearly 3,000 years, so hopefully I’m not ruining a surprise for too many people.
As the movie approached the final act, I found myself yearning for Calypso to finally reveal the secret that would help Odysseus find his way home, and indirectly give me permission to finally head that way myself.
By now I was begging her for the answers to the test.
My dinner was gone.
My drink was still three-quarters full.
And the teenage boys sitting nearby were starting to show the early signs of phone withdrawal. (Maybe they needed a little recovery themselves?).
Then Calypso did it. She gave Odysseus the key to find his way home.
And… her big reveal was… something that is discussed in almost every conversation about addiction recovery and something that sits at the core of the coaching we provide at True North Sober Support. I was stunned to realize that this ancient story carried the same message I had heard in my AA meeting just days earlier.
It wasn’t some hidden knowledge only the gods could understand.
It wasn’t a secret weapon, or a secret path past the Cyclops or the weird lady that made men into pigs.
It wasn’t a strategy that would allow Odysseus to finally overpower everything standing in his way.
It was something much more familiar. It was just – “Let go”.
Face the Gods and their storms, knowing that they will not kill you, and go home.
The Illusion Of Control
I’m guessing some people in the theater were probably a little disappointed.
I mean, isn’t Calypso one step away from a god? Shouldn’t she have some mythological secret that only she could reveal?
The answer wasn’t complicated. It was something familiar.
To me, it was brilliant, and I wondered how many people in that theater recognized the beauty in her message.
The funny thing about letting go is that it sounds easy.
It is one of those phrases almost everyone understands intellectually, but many of us struggle to practice.
Control feels safe.
I recently dropped my daughter off at college for the first time. A rite of passage many parents understand. Most of that transition required something very difficult. I had to let go.
We tell ourselves that if we can just think through every possibility, plan for every outcome, and anticipate every problem, we can protect ourselves and the people we love from the storms life sends our way.
Have you ever been awake at 2:00 AM replaying a conversation from three days ago?
Thinking about what you should have said differently? Worrying about a conversation that hasn’t happened yet? Trying to solve a problem that may never exist?
The truth is, the things we try hardest to control are often the things we have the least ability to change.
We cannot prevent every storm.
And yet, we spend enormous amounts of energy trying to do just that.
That is the illusion of control.
Control gives us the feeling that we are steering the ship, even when we are fighting an ocean we were never meant to command.
Recovery does not teach us to stop caring, stop trying, or stop taking action.
It teaches us the difference between doing our part and trying to control the entire journey.
I can make choices.
I can ask for help.
I can show up.
But I cannot control everything around me.
Sometimes, what keeps us trapped is not the storm itself.
It is the exhausting battle against a storm we were never meant to control.
The Freedom Found In Letting Go
I won’t sit here and pretend letting go is easy. It isn’t.
It’s not easy to believe that a nymph like Calypso exists, offering guidance when everything feels threatening. We often think surrender means standing alone in the storm with nothing left to fight with.
But the opposite is true.
Like Calypso guiding Odysseus, we can recognize that we do not have to navigate the storm alone.
Perhaps the greatest gift is what happens when we stop trying to carry everything on our own. When we release our need to control every outcome, we create space to recognize the help that was already there. Letting go gives us freedom because we become open to help, guidance, and peace.
Recovery has taught me that letting go is not losing control.
It is accepting that control was never the thing that was going to save me.
The storms will likely still come.
The next wave may be higher than the last.
But peace does not come from controlling the storm.
Peace comes from knowing we do not have to face it alone.
Finding Your Way Home
I went to the movies expecting three hours of entertainment. I was prepared with food and drink, and settled in for a trip back to ancient times.
What I left the theater with was something different. I left remembering one of the many lessons that have accompanied recovery. One of many lessons that are all around us if we open ourselves to experiencing them.
They show up in conversations.
They show up in TV shows and movies.
They show up in unexpected places — even in a story that has been told for thousands of years.
The Odyssey did not teach me something new that night. It reminded me of something I already knew — a lesson that has existed for as long as people have been searching for answers.
Before recovery, I just hadn’t learned how to pay attention. The lesson had always been there. I just had not learned how to recognize it.
The storms of life will continue to come. None of us can control every wave, prevent every struggle, or guarantee every outcome.
By releasing the need to control everything, we create space for guidance, support, and peace.
The path home is not found by defeating the storm.
It is found by trusting the process, accepting support, and continuing forward — one step at a time.
Awareness can change your life. There are messages everywhere if we take the time to recognize them, have the wisdom to understand them, and the courage to act.
If you or someone you love is struggling with substance use, recovery, or finding a path forward, True North Sober Support is here to help. Through recovery coaching, peer support, family support, and transition assistance, we help individuals and families navigate the challenges of recovery and discover the next step in their journey.
Learn more about True North Sober Support at https://truenorthsobersupport.com.
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